We’ve got some problems here, Siri —

you don’t come when I call,
you give me bad advice
or none at all.

you say, “I didn’t get that”
or you change the subject
and fall totally  flat.

You’ve gotten me lost —
your directions are wrong
and come with a siri-ous cost.

Yes Siri —

lying to your partner
is a capital offence
And so rude to be silent;
I demand recompense.
I’m reconsidering our relationship
You show no remorse —
I’m breaking it off,
Dissolution? Divorce?

I’ve set you up
and set you up
and set you up
yet still you ignore.
Oh Siri, Siri,
I’m showing you the door.

Oh wait,
maybe it’s because you’re American male?

I could give you one last dance—
and change you to British—
at least then when you’re wrong
perchance
I’ll be charmed by your accent
and the extent of your content
and you won’t be so frus-TRA’-ting
and I shan’t throw you in the dust bin.
But seriously Siri
This IS your final chance…