I once wrote a post about the double yellow line in the middle of the road.
Hardly anyone read it. It probably wasn’t very good–maybe the metaphor was too strained, or too vague, or maybe just not enough lines had been crossed. After all, it was back in April of 2017.
Back then, I wrote about how everyone was staying in their own lane and not crossing the double yellow line in the center. But today I’m writing about another line–the line that, once crossed, it’s too far. Everyone knows it is too far. And when it is crossed, there is opposition. And outrage. And courageous action.
I keep waiting. And the longer I wait, the farther away the line moves. And the angrier I get.
There was the Secretary of Defense and his buddies texting war plans on a Signal chat with a journalist. i thought surely that would be the line. There was deporting people to an El Salvador prison on a plane that courts had ordered to be turned around. i thought surely that would be the line. There were the bogus charges filed against a sitting member of Congress for simply doing her job. i thought surely that would be the line. There was the sending of the National Guard to LA without the Governor’s request–a violation of the constitution and I thought surely that would be the line. There was the handcuffing of a sitting senator. i thought surely that would be the line. There are masked thugs roaming the cities, grabbing workers from their jobs and people from their homes. Surely that is a line? But I know now, that there probably isn’t any red line. Remember he said years ago, he could kill someone in downtown Manhattan and nothing would happen. Have we become a nation who just allows their leader to break any law he chooses? Every day I wake up and wonder what embarrassing or illegal thing he has said or done while I was sleeping.
Yes, I am angry all the time now. I have violent thoughts. And anyone who knows me, knows that I am a peace-loving, non-violent person.
I’m wondering how peaceful americans can tolerate the kind of ugly slurs and racist garbage that comes out of his mouth? And it isn’t just him. A state senator and her husband were assassinated last week, and another state senator and his wife were shot in their home. And Senator Mike Lee, a Republican from Utah, made jokes about it online. MADE JOKES! And while I have been writing this post, trump has bombed another country without permission from Congress. It’s not war, they say. So if bombing another country is not war, is it a terrorist attack?
My former son-in-law, who is an immigrant from Spain, brought me books the other day–five books on the immigrant experience. He is a teacher, so these are categorized as Young Adult novels, but if you are a reader, you know that many Young Adult writers’ words are vibrant and magical.
I just finished home is not a country by Safia Elhillo. I read it slowly and it took me about five hours. Written as a series of narrative poems, it is about Nima, an Arabic teenager in this country, trying to make sense of her family history and why she is in this country. A beautiful read, these are the words that stood out to me:
when i met you i was already angry
Safia Elhillo, home is not a country
so angry
about everything i thought had been taken from me
everything i thought i did not have
so busy looking
at my one empty hand i almost missed everything
filling the other
Yes, I’m so angry. Angry at my government that is falling away while We the People are unable to do anything about it; angry at the others who voted for criminals to take over the government (and seem to be just fine with it); angry at the Christian Nationalist cult that is ruining the name of Jesus for so many; angry at those in power for their complete lack of respect and kindness and compassion for others, for the earth, for the world; angry at my own personal circumstance that is hollowing out our lives; and yes, I’m angry at God. For allowing all this pain. I’m overwhelmed. And so busy looking at my one empty hand I can’t see anything else. Lord, help me not to miss what is in my other hand…
and now, I have nothing else to say. So I will offer a prayer, a lament. Feeble words from a powerless woman in a weakened country in a frail world that seems to be losing its light.
Gracious Father, Lord and Spirit of all that is Holy and Beautiful,
this world is so broken
yet i look out the window
at the white clouds
in the bright sky
and the leaves of the maple in the breath of wind.
nothing looks broken out my window.
but i know that bombs have just fallen from the sky
a world away. but it might have been otherwise (apologies to Jane Kenyon)
people just like me don't have food
won't be cooking dinner
won't be taking their husband to his dentist appointment tomorrow.
What will it take, Lord?
this world is so broken
rich people sit in the houses of government
and make the laws that benefit themselves
and sputter and stutter when confronted
about the poor, the immigrant, the widowed, the vulnerable
the very people they oppress
the very people you love.
What will it take, Lord?
you gave us this world to steward
bluebirds, salmon, and horses to care for
but we have ozoned up the air
fouled the seas
plasticated the land
and sold the rushing mountain streams to the highest bidder.
What will it take, Lord?
Where is the line?
Surely we have crossed it?
Did you mean to die for us
to leave us miserable
in this broken world we have sullied for ourselves?
You have said that truth, beauty, love, and kindness will win.
How long, Lord? How long?
Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (Psalm 10:1)
I’m old enough to remember this bumper sticker. (I might even confess to having it on one of my cars, but I’m also old enough to forget whether I actually did…) Anyway, the point is, I get it when people start arguing about the human definition of righteousness and what it is. We can get on swampy ground. Is it more righteous to ban abortions or tear apart immigrant families? Is obedience to the law more righteous than standing up against an unfair law? Is it more moral to call people names or actually listen to what they have to say? Okay, that last one was a trick question… Sorry.
To be honest, we cannot expect our political leaders to fulfill that biblical definition of righteousness. No one can — no human, no political party can have a claim on righteousness. Christ came to be righteousness for us because we cannot, as humans, manage even a bit of holy righteousness 
If you remember this photo op, you’ll remember that in a controversial move, the National Park police used tear gas to disperse the crowd of peaceful protesters in front of the White House, so he could walk across the street to a church and hold up a Bible. I’m not sure what he was trying to get across. That he believes in freedom of religion? That he believes in the Bible? That he thinks the Bible supports his ‘law and order’ ticket? That he likes his Christian supporters and wanted to pander to them? That he wasn’t hiding in the basement bunker of the White House, he was upstairs reading the Bible? Even when I try not to be cynical about this, I don’t get it. It offended many believers, including Rev. Robert Hendrickson whose words are below:
the circle of life 