Technology Battles

We’ve got some problems here, Siri —

you don’t come when I call,
you give me bad advice
or none at all.

you say, “I didn’t get that”
or you change the subject
and fall totally  flat.


You’ve gotten me lost —
your directions are wrong
and come with a siri-ous cost.

Yes Siri —

lying to your partner
is a capital offence
And so rude to be silent;
I demand recompense.
I’m reconsidering our relationship
You show no remorse —
I’m breaking it off,
Dissolution? Divorce?

I’ve set you up
and set you up
and set you up
yet still you ignore.
Oh Siri, Siri,
I’m showing you the door.

Oh wait,
maybe it’s because you’re American male?

I could give you one last dance—
and change you to British—
at least then when you’re wrong
I’ll be charmed by your accent
and the extent of your content
and you won’t be so frus-TRA’-ting
and I shan’t throw you in the dust bin.
But seriously Siri
This IS your final chance…


31. Lamenting the Lost Ladybugs of my Youth

Ladybug Lament

One ladybug is delightful,
Two ladybugs are nice,
Twenty-one ladybugs are frightful,
Thirty ladybugs will quite suffice.
Fifty-two ladybugs are a nation.
Seventy-four ladybugs are an

I lost count at 74 ladybugs last week. We were planning on painting an outside wall of the cottage; the day before we had finished scraping, caulking, and priming. Getting a coat of paint on that northwest side of the house, before the really bad weather set in, seemed judicious. As we were priming, there were a few ladybugs here and there, but nothing to remark about. Although Michael did say “Now that I’ve caulked up all the holes, the bugs will either be inside or outside.” Very prescient.

The next morning ladybugs were everywhere — inside, outside, on the ceiling, on the floor, on the windows, on the new door…
Yes, I know, bad poetry abounds. Bad times call for bad rhymes.

Remember when you were a kid and a ladybug landing on your sleeve was good luck? I remember running into the house with a lovely RED ladybug on my hand, shouting for everyone to look. We had to say the rhyme, “Ladybug, Ladybug fly away home, your house is on fire and your children will burn” before she flew away.
No, all ladybugs are not girls. This picture proves it:

Adult ladybugs Harmonia axyridis.

Adult ladybugs, Harmonia axyridis. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But all ladybugs in this country did used to be red, not orange or yellow or plain. Remember? The first ladybug I saw at the cottage this summer was red. I thought, “Yes! I am back in the countryside where there are real ladybugs again.” I haven’t seen another red one since. They are all that sickly rust-colored Asian ladybug Harmonia axyridis. This Asian lady beetle was introduced in the seventies (by the U.S. government) to control aphids on several agricultural crops, including pecans and soybeans. They are larger and more aggressive than our native ladybugs coccinella novemnotata, more commonly known as the nine-spotted ladybug. They not only eat aphids, but also crops (grape growers are calling them pests) and they are being accused of eating the larvae of the native ladybugs as well.

Most people believe the imported species has caused the decimation of the native species. Cornell scientists are studying the problem and are trying to reintroduce colonies of the native species. You can read about the Lost Ladybug Project here, and perhaps even become a Citizen Entomologist! I’m joining up!

For more information about the lost native ladybugs you can link to these articles:

1. Coccinella novemnotata, Nine Spotted Lady Beetle

2. Is That Ladybug Carrying a U.S. Passport?

3. Ladybugs : What Everyone Wants to Know

and don’t forget to read Eric Carle’s classic picture book The Grouchy Ladybug. No wonder she’s having a bad day — she’s being eaten by non-native species!

Never did get that side of the cottage painted… We didn’t want it to be spotted! We’re hoping for good painting weather for at least another three weeks…