122. The paralysis of indecision

Indecisiveness is a sad malady to have — I cringe when I see others afflicted. Yet I confess to having bouts of it myself.

•Choosing paint colors? Could take me months.
•Deciding what side dishes to make for Thanksgiving dinner? Could take me weeks.
•Editing a blog post? Could take me days.

I’m not sure how I got this virus, but I’m fairly sure it was a birth defect and there’s no cure. I’m thinking of starting a non-profit for research — if you would like to donate to The Race to Cure Indecision, send me a comment, and I’ll be sure to get back to you with a donation form…or maybe you could just send a check…or maybe you should wait until some office help is hired.

I like input from other people; it starts a conversation and helps me narrow my focus. Talking it out helps me decide; perhaps it is a side effect of perfectionism? The fear of making the imperfect decision leads to making no decision at all. Sigh. (This is why deadlines are good!)

Yesterday’s photo challenge was Mystery and the directive was to play with light. Play with light? Play with color? Aside from playing with words, those are some favorite things to do.

It was twenty five degrees outside, but the sun was shining. So the iPhoneographer went walking during the morning golden hour, freezing her fingers and toes, but having fun. And since I had such a hard time deciding what photos to choose, here are some shots; first in black and white (most mysterious) and then in misty color.

 

 

 

 

Start a conversation — tell me what you think. What attracts you to a photo?

Do you prefer color or B&W? Which of the above photos speaks the word Mystery to you?

Or maybe you can’t decide either? It’s okay, I’ll let you in my club.

85. Dithering

We spend a lot of time dithering…

siding boards

Trying to figure out every angle before we start, so we won’t be surprised.

It never works, and we just end up with a work stoppage.

Yesterday, after a morning of spectacular dithering, I wondered to myself why we don’t discuss these problems on the way back and forth from house to house. We’ve got plenty of time; the drive is at least an hour, and that’s if all the cars and drivers are behaving. (And the cat; when the cat misbehaves we end up with a conversation stoppage…).

But then I realized that we don’t discuss these problems because they are Unforeseen. Unexpected. Unknowns.

While we were dithering
about the project
before we started,
we never thought THAT
would happen,
even though
we thought
that we had thought
of Everything
causes dithering again.

Painting of Apple Hill Cottage, ca.1973

When the cottage first became ours, it was rather like a new romance. Oh, we wandered around thinking of possibilities — how grand it would be if we could put in hardwood floors here; and maybe we could raise the roof there; and perhaps if we enclosed this part of the back porch it would make a lovely guest bedroom…
The basic plan was to bring the cottage back to the way it looked originally (as close as we could get it, at least…) That wasn’t dithering; it was dreaming, and wondering, and expanding possibilities.

But the honeymoon is over now because we have spent almost every spare moment working on this cottage. Nothing can surprise us now, and some of the charm has been lost in the reality of sweat, blood, finances, time, arguments discussions, and just plain exhaustion. It’s an old house; suddenly we have to move to plan B because the furnace blew up. Or suddenly we have to leave Plan A to fix the roof because it is leaking. Or suddenly we have to change Plan A because the new siding isn’t quite the same as the old siding… Can we just be done already and get on with life?

No? Then, let’s at least stop dithering and get on with the plan. (Uh, was that Plan A or Plan B?)

The troubles come when glitches occur in the actual plan. Sort of like life? Glitches abound. And are we going to dither; or are we ready to accept the problem, embrace the setback, and make the delay part of the plan?
peeling paint
And here is where Jesus can help. If we are trying to live life according to His plan, well then, it’s His plan — it’s not our plan. We just like to think it’s our plan and that we are in charge. And when we get too uppity about it, God will remind us. Most of the time He reminds us gently, and that’s when we are to say, “Oh, yes. God, it is yours, not mine. Forgive me for trying to take over.”

Lawn chairs in fall

Sometimes it’s a big thing; sometimes we just see through the glass darkly and we fight and kick and struggle for weeks, months, years… until the glass clears and we finally get it — the fight belongs to Him, not us. He made us and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture. (Psalm 100:3) 

We dither because we are sheep. I know, it’s not a pleasant comparison, but there it is. Picture sheep running around the gated pasture bleating in confusion. Going nowhere and running in those circles cause befuddlement, bewilderment, agitation, and demoralization. Don’t ask me how I know this… (Read Luke 15 to be reminded. I need to be reminded of this often…)

But we have a good shepherd to lead us — one who never gives up on us no matter how far we wander;

mist in the hills

one who loves each one of us not because we are good, bad, black, or white, but simply because we are his;

one who constantly cares for us if we would just allow it.
the heavens

Note to self: Dithering is believing that your own plans might be better than God’s amazing plans! Embrace the delays and know that you are being taught something important.

Note to God: “Yes, God, it is truly yours, not mine. Forgive me for trying to take over.”

IMG_2959

Amen.