B.I.C.S. (Blog Identity Crisis Syndrome)

/ Apple Hill Cottage

My blog is having an identity crisis.

Note: Not me. I’m fine. It’s my blog that’s come down with the B.I.C.S.

You see, I started this four years ago to chronicle the journey of rehabbing an old cottage. Is it finished? No. The bathroom still needs a total gut; the extra room that will be a guest bedroom/office is still unfinished; the garage, the back porch, and the roof all need attention. But life here is the real life now. It’s no longer a dream of someday we’ll move there. We’re here. And it’s day to day — you know — working, eating, praying, loving, serving, writing, reading, learning, talking, listening.

One hundred and eighty posts later I’ve been struggling with the foolish self-importance issue that seems to be an egregious habit of the human race. (Watch the debates much?) And then my blog whispered to me the other day, and…

well, that just brought things to a head.

Yes. My blog told me just three days ago that it’s feeling out-of-focus and left out.

What’s my point? it whined. I used to be about the cottage. With some DIY thrown in. And then you started with those photo/poems — I hope you don’t have any illusions about your photo skills. You just have an iPhone and you can’t compete with real photographers, you know.
I nodded.
And you’ve put up some recipes, but you’re just a half-decent slow, messy cook who sometimes doesn’t feel like cooking at all.
I nodded again.
Then sometimes you write about faith and Jesus. You know, you lose people immediately as soon as they read those first lines.
But, I said, I’m not ashamed of Jesus.
Just sayin’ the blog answered. And sometimes you write gardening posts, but you’re just a homestead wannabe. No chickens. No bees. Just some fruit trees and a small garden.
Suddenly I was feeling bullied. Hey, I said. I write you. Don’t tell me what to write about.
Maybe, I should — all that bookish stuff — get real, get into the 21st century.
I am in the 21st century, you simpleton, I said. (Yes, it’s pathetic to resort to name calling in an argument with your own blog.) I’m writing you on my Mac and sending you rocketing off into cyberspace.
Well, it said self-importantly, if there’s no point, why send me rocketing off? Why not just keep a diary of the weather for yourself? Or write on that silly novel of yours? You know there are bazillions of blogs out there — why do you think anyone wants to waste their precious time reading yours?

And then my blog went silent.

And I was left with anxious thoughts. No one really wants to have a fight with their own blog.

Maybe I could change my theme, I thought. Make things look a little different around here?

No answer.

That’s how we left it. Uncomfortable silence.

So until one of us learns some humility, I’m taking a break. Studying the clouds. Weather patterns.

It’s not a divorce — just some time apart. And I’m sending my blog to counseling so it can figure out what will be good for its soul.

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21 thoughts on “B.I.C.S. (Blog Identity Crisis Syndrome)”

  2. Oh my blog and I have had this same mis- understanding! Then I just get her a new outfit (Theme) and she perks right up! I would love to hear more about the cottage! And your musings! Just give her a day in her room to think things over !

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  3. Well, I don’t like it. And I’m taking sides. I like the pictures and the poems. And the recipes and the cottage and the Jesus. So don’t you take that crap from your blog. And if the blog keeps it up, dump it. There’s a good blog out there just looking for a good writer.

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    • Ha ha ha. All of these comments are making me smile… Honestly I wasn’t going for compliments! Just need a bit of time to figure out where it’s going… and maybe how I can add some fiction. That’s the problem, I just don’t know. Thanks for the encouragement; it’s such a blessing.

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  4. I have asked the same question of my blog. Why do I continue to pay for a theme, no ads, and my own domain to chronicle my life mainly to people whom I never met? It started out with an automotive theme and quickly turned into an eclectic journey. When it went dark during the divorce process, several who followed my blog contacted me wondering what happened. Little did I know that many of my reader had become friends. While talking with my mom yesterday, who is caring for my dad who has ALZ, she stated that my pictures of flowers I find along my walks brighten her day. My sharing my simple pictures from my OnePlus One cell phone have helped her to see the flowers along her walk. I told her that I will continue my blog even if she is the only one who enjoys my posts. But I know that she is not the only one. Others have chimed in at various times stating that a thought or comment has helped in their journey. I do agree with your blog’s argument that the mention of Jesus is a “Like” and comment killer. But two weeks ago, I published a post I have been working on for some time concerning divorce and the Christian church. When I finally decided it was good enough to publish, I expected very little interest based on the number of quotes from the Bible as well as being 1480 words aloing with no pictures. To my surprise, it has created the most comments on a single post in quite a while. I also ended up with 11 like (maybe a record for a Jesus post) and a few new followers. We never know how or who our words will impact. I would encourage you to bring in a Priest and exorcise your blog to toss out the demons that are trying to silence your voice. :-)

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    • Oh no, I don’t think they were demons… Were they? ;-)
      But seriously, you are absolutely right. I myself didn’t comment on your divorce post, because it was just too close to home. My step-daughter and son-in-law are in the midst of it, and it’s just too raw. So I also understand that words might be affecting to someone, and they might not even comment! So thank you for the encouragement. I just need a little time to rest — it shouldn’t be a burden.

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      • Sorry to hear about your step-daughter and son-in-law. Divorce affects family and friends too. A blog should not be a burden. When it gets that way for me, I too just step away until I find another reason to be happy. Enjoy the break.

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  5. My favorite posts are your musings about faith and Jesus, and they are the ones that I share most often. ( Although I would love more librarian favorite lists as well- how about fiction for older children?)

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  7. I too love your posts. Once upon a time you had to make a deal to get me to read it. But I am hooked. I really enjoy your writing. You have a gift. So blog or novel – I don’t much care – but keep on keeping on. Don’t let your light get hidden under the proverbial bushel just because life’s circumstances are changing a bit. jrd

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  8. Yes, I’ve got some bushel baskets in the mud room. :-)
    But thanks for the encouragement. I’ve always enjoyed writing this blog and right now, it has turned into a burden. I think it just needs the 3 R’s — rest, recuperate, and reorganization.

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    • I’ve been struggling with my blog for a while now, and recently i’d been thinking on just giving the whole thing up. But then you stumbled upon it and encouraged me in my writing…. which led me here and i found so much in this post that fits with my own struggle. rest, recuperation, and reorganization may be the Dr’s orders for me as well!

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      • Thank you! Yes — read Patrick’s words above — we never know how or who our words will impact. And that’s really why we write isn’t it? To have an impact (hopefully positive) on someone else? Otherwise, we would just keep a diary…

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  10. After just returned from a couple months off after a Blog Identity Crisis of my own, I totally get this. Blessings and peace during your time off. Hoping you come back soon.

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